There is a joke that unicorns became extinct because Noah forgot to take them aboard the Ark. An alternative version goes that he looked for them, but couldn’t find any before the flood began. Either way, it is truth universally acknowledged that the unicorn is now extinct.
Well there are some skeptics who say that they never existed in the first place. But the question is: do we really know? One thing is for sure and that is that if unicorns do exist then they sure as heck ain’t domesticated. They are wild! Ferae Naturae! Animals that are naturally dangerous and indeed recognized as such a threat that if your field is invaded by one, you may lawfully chase or drive it off into your neighbour’s land for your own protection and safety. Such is the class of animals to which unicorns belong.
But wait! What if instead of chasing it away into your neighbour’s field, you could tame it? Domesticate it! And make it your own? Maybe, indeed, you could make it a beast of burden – like a regular horse. Or perhaps it is edible, in which case it could become part of a herd of livestock. Alternatively, perhaps its powerful horn and wild nature could be used to your advantage as, say, a guard animal to protect your livestock from predators or your home from intruders?
Or maybe it could simply be a companion animal – a pet, like a dog or cat or goldfish.
But for anything of these things to be possible, first you have to tame it. And that is where help is needed. Because there are no instruction manuals or reference books on how to tame a unicorn. Maybe that’s the result of scientific skepticism of as to whether or not they even exist. Or maybe it’s because no one has ever managed to tame one. Until now…
What do I mean? What I mean is that those smart-ass boffins at Magnetic Products Store have not only managed to tame unicorns. They have even managed to develop a magnetic bracelet that automates the process. The UNICORN Taming, 5 in 1 Elements BLACK Titanium Magnetic Bracelet does exactly what it says on the tin: it tames any unicorns within a furlong of the bracelet – guaranteed.
The beauty of it is that the bracelet doubles as a regular magnetic therapy bracelet. So you’re effectively getting two for the price of one. And after spending all that money at Christmas – as one does – this is probably not just a blessing, but a blessing that for once is NOT in disguise!